Day TWO in the DAVE Diary
Ohhhh This is all a bit scary now - I had arrived at this house after being taken from mum and dad's small flat ( where i had lived since a pup - i was now i think I am 8 - or so they say ) and i had a drive in one thing that went faster than i could run - and then i met two people - one was big and smiley and one looked like my ball at home - ie he had no hair - then i got to have a walk and a look around - then i got put into another thing that went very fast - faster than i could run - and went for ages and ages and ages - and i got a bit bored and sat down and was very quiet - and then i came to a house where everyone was very very very pleased to see me - i did all this in about three breaths i think
- IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST
- It was all very strange as i had no idea who they were - these new people - and there was the BIGGEST furriest growliest thing i had ever seen before - i wanted to be friends -
but this black monster just growled .. and id done nuffink wrong !
Anyway - EVERYONE - and i mean EVERYONE came and said a helllo too me - I was very polite and actually enjoyed it - and made a fuss of everyone - but i was so very tired - well - i had had a VERY busy day !! BUT EVERYONE wanted me to talk to them - and to look at them -
and awwww " Too much ladies and Gents - leave a dog alone !! " - so - They went !! -
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW PEACE - lovely !!
This Fun lady i met earlier gave me and Hairy Hearthrug a lovely dinner and it had something that was called pork in it - as it was apparently a special day - WELL IF THIS WAS PORK AND IF THIS WAS A SPECIAL DAY - I WANT ONE SPECIAL DAY - EVERY DAY -
I BLOODY LOVE THIS PORK STUFF !!
Anyway - The boy and the girl kept making a fuss of me and we played and had fun and ran aound and kissed and played and played and kissed - and then Ohhhhhhhhhhh I needed to go OUTSIDE - if you know what i mean ;) - I went to the nice fun lady and nudged her hand - I made a funny noise that i make with my mum at home and she always knows - well - it worked - the nice Fun lady knew - She also said to the two smaller non furry things that it was 'bed' time - well - i knew bedtime - as i LOVE bedtime - i get to sleep on the bed with Mum and Dad - OHHH MUM AND DAD - I WOULDNT BE THERE TO KEEP THEM SAFE AND WARM - I hope the other lady told Mum and Dad where i was... ..
Anyway - I went out in the garden with the big grumpy old furry and ohhhhhhhhhh so much better when i came in - i gave this fun lady a kiss to say thank you - I am very thoughtful like that and like to say my pleases and thank you's ! Ohhhhhh Then a man came and the two smaller things went off with him ??
- That was odd - They called him DAD - but - well - He WAS NOT MY DAD ??? That was odd - they gave me big kisses and said see you tomorrow Dave - Love you - Guard Mum... and BE GOOD !
BUT I AM ALWAYS GOOD !! - PERRRRLEASE !!
Ohhh Mum - OMG MUM - SHE WOULD BE SO WORRIED , AND THEY WOULD BE LOOKING FOR ME - AND UPSET AND ...
" DAVE COME ! ... COME ON - COME ON - YOUR SUCH A GOOOOOOOD BOY ! "
I stood away from the door
Fun lady lived up to her name - SHE WAS SO MUCH FUN !!
Anyways - the fun lady locked the front door - and said good night to the big fluffy thing, and gave her a kiss on her Big Furry head - she also put her arms round big furry things neck and hugged her - well - i thought that was a bit much - anyway - she stayed downstairs - ie the big black fluffy - and I was very pleased about this as she is scary - Fun Lady and I went upstairs and Fun Lady got into bed - well - THIS IS A STRANGE BED - it's on the floor - WHEWWW -WHEWW - SO EASY TO GET ON -
LOVELY - I jumped on -
" DAVE OFF"
ohhh - I looked at Fun lady - well - YOUR NOT FUN AT ALL ARE YOU LOVE ?! - SOMEONE GAVE YOU THE WRONG NAME THERE DIDNT THEY =
" DAVE OFF "
I got off - I can't believe I AM ON THE FLOOR - But I settled down next to her - on the FLOOR.....
The Hard Cold - ok ok - There was a snuggly bed for me - but - I remember it as being Hard and Cold and maybe even a little damp ...... FLOOR ...
I am NOT a dog that sleeps on the floor -
DOES THIS WOMAN NOT REALISE THIS ??
She fell asleep. Fun Woman - I mean ... Wow - she was tired
So
Very Very quietly I Snuck on the bed
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I have now realised - if i am soooooooooo very quiet, and Literally army crawl up the bed and lie right next to her, feeling her heartbeat - giving kisses - and then move to the end of the bed -
I DON'T GET THROWN OFF !!
YAY! - ALL BLOODY NIGHT LONG - I WAS SO COMFY -
Well - apparently - we woke up so late this morning that Fun Lady couldn't ring my brother and sister ( Thats what the smaller non hairy things are called ) because they were at THEIR dads house -
Ohh DAD - Now i had forgotton - DAD - OMG - He is going to be so worried about me - i hope that nice lady told him i was going to come here - and sleep on Fun Ladies bed and play with this big old furry hearth rug with attitude problems and a funny walk
- but - i'll see them tonight - my brother and sister - i'm sure i will - and i mean really really sure - and i know that because they told me yesterday that they would see me today ... that makes me really excited - They are fun and give me lots of kisses - and the boy always calls me his mate - i'm his mate DaveDawg ! -
I will give Mum and Dad - lots and lots of kisses when i see them - because now i come to think of it - i sure do miss them - I'm wondering why i'm here and not there - sitting in my space in the flat with mum and dad making loud noises and those two tiny furry things running around and jumping over me - Mmm - I wonder if Dad has gone for his walk along the beach yet - LOVE THE BEACH - and chasing those silly flappy flying things - that squark and dive bomb - they are FUN to chase !!
Well - I had breakfast and The HUGE Black fluffy bear thing - apparently - my new sister ?
We exchanged nose nudges -
oh oh oh oh i almost forgot - i walked past Derek -
'Derek' is just ONE of the small furry thing's, and he does not like me very much - AS IN - AT ALL - and that's an understatement - HE HATES ME - I don't know why - his brother 'Rodney' likes me ..
Anyway - Derek was on ( what i learnt ) was his 'spot' on the stairs - well - Fun lady told me to
" WAIT DAVE " - at the top of the stairs - and i BLOODY DID AS I WAS TOLD THAT TIME, BECAUSE THAT FURRY THING HAS ISSUES - REAL REAL MENTAL AND SOCIAL ISSUES - HE IS SCARY - AND I MEAN - REALLY REALLY SCARY ... HE IS A HARD AS NAILS FURRY THING,
AND HE TAKES ANYTHING ON - SO I STAYED THERE - WAITING - I WAS SO GOOD -
Mum then walked past ( too slowly for my liking ) Giving the furry Nutter a pat on his head - and then she turned round bent down - and OMG BE CAREFUL LADY THAT THING IS MAaaaD - she lent down to the crazy thing and actually kissed him on his tummy - well - crazy furry thing just sat there - and i think i heard him sort of make a funny noise - Fun lady Gave him a long stroke and called him a scaredy cat and then was muttering something about a coffee - i don't know what this coffee thing is - but mum wanted and needed one - VERY VERY BADLY - I since learned that mum has this Coffee thing, well - literally in her hand - every minute of the day - and if she does not have it -
ohhhhh RUN BULLSEYE, RUN LIKE THE WIND !
( I've heard people say that before - and it got a laugh - so i wanted to use it too ! ) -
Anyways - she let the big black furry moany thing and I out in the garden and well - i ran round like a loon - i really needed to stretch me legs after being on the bed all night !
Well - After a run i came and sat next to the older furry thing - and we sat there - and sat there and sat there, sat and waited, waited and sat - WELL - THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE i thought
- I wanted to go INSIDE .. so - i showed the older hearth rug my party trick - what i did not realise was that fun lady was watching !! - as i jumped at the back door and put my hulking paw on the lever and opened the door - Fun Lady SHOUTED ' DAVVVVVVVVE - WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING ? NO "
- well - i wernt bovvered - naa - bovvered i was not - she don't scare me -
and, I'm sure by opening the door - PeggatyPawz aka - Big Hearth Rug - was a little impressed and has started to lighten up - she even let me borrow her toy this morning !!
Then - Mum oh no - not mum - fun lady - Mum is at hime with dad - Welll Fun lady had a........... well - i'm not sure what it was - but... she got in the cage type thing with glass doors thing -
she said it was a shower ??
and she came out SOOOOOOOOOAKING WET - as if she had been rolling in a dewy field - she was so wet - and i know this because she actually dripped water on my nose when i put my cold nose on her leg - she did make a funny noise and told me to GO BACK - but - i had no idea what she meant so stayed there smiling at her - she scratched my head and i love that ! Anyways i would not let her out of my sight and sat watching - i think i am going to be watching dog - i like to watch !! Watching i do well !!
Well - then came the best bit - mum .... No no no no NOT mum - Fun Lady - Mum was at home with dad - Ohhh i miss them - i wonder what they are doing - Anyways she took me and Peggatypawz in the garden and wow - we were out there for ages - throwing things and chasing and laughing and darting around - had such a fab time i came in and fell asleep ! = I know - a grown dog asleep before lunchtime - Shhhhhhh don't tell anyone - Well - mum is now on a little box thing that is making her make sounds like the little furry things make when they see me - she sounds like she is at the vets ( very high pitched whaling noises and her leg n toes are tapping - ) but she is happy - so i am happy - sitting next to her - head on her leg - watching - Just watching - watching and waiting !!
That's my day so far - I think i like my new house - there is lots going on and i get lots of attention and cuddles - but time out when i have had enough - It's a NO DOG ON SOFA RULE - in this place - but - well - i seem to get away with it !!!
Now i am going to plan how i can get treats when i want them - so - i think it has something to do with my 'cute' face - but so far i don't know what that is ! I also think if i do as they say i get a treat -
but - so far - it's too much fun doing what i want !!!
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